Some more from the vault…three months later

Hi Annette, hope I can still contribute some writings to this platform. The TF section in my Onenote is filled with unfinished stories and thoughts, and for a while after school started, I was anxious to complete and share them. But today I decided to start posting the unfinished, the unpolished, the incoherent as well, just in the way they came to me. Life is incoherent, and is not meant to be coherent in the first place, after all.

I was eating snacks and watching a TED talk after today’s climbing session. It was one of those poignant and insightful talks that everybody needs. I’ve been having a difficult time these past few weeks. All my symptoms just came back to me, and I found myself crying a lot. “The more you believe that you can buy/consume your way out of anxiety and depression,” said the speaker. I smirked. It was such a truism that was impossible to really believe in and practice within the consumerist culture. Then it hit me that I am perfectly capable of having a simple, happy life, and solving problems through other means, like I did in the mountains in Mongolia. I finally realized that part of the reason why I was so happy in the mountains was that I got to know, for the first time, that I was capable of being perfectly and unconditionally happy. I am not a naturally unhappy person, and I need to know that and stop blaming myself for being unhappy.

14th July 2019: First Day in Мөрөн

Before posting all my reflections, here is:

How to take a hot shower when there is only cold water?

You sprinkle yourself thoroughly with the cold water dripping from the shower head, until your body temperature falls below the water’s temperature. Then the water is warm enough for the rest of the shower.


Don’t get me wrong, I am super grateful that there is warm water shower at my guesthouse in the first place. It just so happened that it was so chilling when I took the shower. It was drizzling, and my body had yet to adjust to the 10+ Celcius weather. I asked the Taiwanese fellow Workawayer to braid my hair (into the Katniss style yeah!) so that for the next two weeks I don’t need to shower again. Unlike in UB, I feel really fine not showering here.

I like to be reminded that every hot shower is a luxury.